Who would’ve thought.

What did you dream?

What did you get?

How does it feel?



It was nice to live life

Each day as it comes

Till you realized life planned for you ‘cos you didn’t

You woke up too late, too late you see

What were you thinking? What did you dream?.



Today was nowhere in your mind,

This experience is a shock

Why did you not dream?

Why did you not think?



Perhaps it was age, too early to use the mind

But slowly the undone is showing it’s colours

You don’t like it, cos you didn’t imagine

You never thought, never dreamed



But was it such a crime, is today so bad?

What if the plan planned would not work?

What if life did what it wanted to anyway?

Alas you question, and dwindle up on the worse

But hey, at least you know now, to think, to dream for tomorrow..

Its so slow everything today

Everybody's still

We are alive by no means

Walking talking dead

Where has the love gone,

Who said id b alive tomorrow?

What are you waiting for?

I might just take my last breath

Too many lies

Too much positive crap

Too many “few days”

I need to move on

How can I believe in you

When you’re not sure yourself

How can life be good tomorrow

When tomorrow may not b there

What are you timing away with

Shielding yourself from reality

Every drop, particle atom

You need to wake up darling

Who said ill be alive tomorrow

Who said we’d have or last kiss?

Who said ull hear me say “I love you”

This bed might be my death….

Syeda Hyder, 19

hmm.....

Hmmm.....this is more like a diary entry than anything, and since no one really reads my blog i can give away the pin to my ATM card and not a penny would be missing!...

ha! how boring!..I could very well make a diary entry in my "actual" dairy...but i guess im too lazy to write....how typical of me!........besides im waiting for grey's anatomy to buffer on youtube...and i jus wanted to type....

yeah thats it...i want to type!.......im losing it...haven't gotten allot of sleep since yesterday and i think it's takign a toll on me....but do i care? hell no!!

so whats happening with my life.....sometimes i really wonder why somethings in life have soo much to wodnr about...and knowing wondring and thinking and not sleeping nights is nto going to get you anywhere....i find it soothing.....it gives me answers, sometimes it gets me anxious...but either way i do like to wonder and won't give it up....tho i try to sometimes when it gets out of controll and rather negative for my psyche.....

But do i care? No do i want to? Yes!....

So what do i do?......i take a deep breath and jus wonder...think and think and then think again......

i wonder how life would be without all my wondering....i think god leaves soo much to us for wondering and wishing and hoping and praying that it spices up life.....not knowing whats going to happen is fun...not havign control over every second of your life is freedom....not realizing hwo dumb you are is a blessing.....realising how dumb everyone else is is an ego boost......all this makes me wonder if everything was happening for no other reason but for me to wonder endless hours about it.......

I have officially lost it...though i know somewhere inbetween my lines i made sense........!

thats me!......

Behold!

I've learned....

This is what my experiences have taught me in the recent past... I intend to keep updating this....It'll be interesting to look back and see how much I've grown...

I've learned The power of "Ya Ali madad"....

I've learned that true wisdom is in my religion......

I've learned that I can do whatever i want.......

I've learned life is way better when married....

I've learned Hyder senses my mood swings before I myself do..

I've learned Hyder knows whats on my mind before I do...

I've learned Allah loves me more than I can imagine.....

I've learned no matter what people say having faith in your dreams is all you need to achieve them....

I've learned being lazy initially is great fun!

I've learned that I am way older than my friends my age....

I've learned that i have to keep learning......

I've learned that being friendly with people will always have positive energy around me...

I've learned Jihad gets more difficult everyday.....

I've learned when you pray for whats best to happen you have to be insanely patient.....

I've learned the importance of keeping busy always....

Syeda Hyder, 19

Show me the green....

I still remember my first pay cheque
The money the happines for my life that was wrecked.
I bought my fav mobile and gave the rest
To mom and the poor because i was blessed.

As months went on and so did life
I bought a car, an aparment a whole new life,
Pubbing and partying was very important
Something mom and dad never understood

I had no tension, because i had everything
All my time i did whatever I willed.
Till i realized that my mom was ill,
Not because of any disease but of my getting rich.

She was sick of my late hours and my gifts
She wanted peace and NOT my gifts
She said she searched everywhere to find me
When i was with her, as I thought I did.

My money could not save her from her illness,
And i could'nt leave the life i was living,
How could i give up my car, My pride?
How could i give up my apartment, my life?

Mom wanted a peice of my time,
Something sadly my money couldn't buy
My green made her green,
which made me blue
I could'nt understand something so true!

I wanted to spend time, but then i'd have to give up
On all i worked hard for and to live lower.
I had become someonle else,
My choices changed, my priorities changed
My aim changed, My life changed.
Mom sadly died, and the funeral was lavish
And now I undersatnd why
My green made her green
Though it still makes me blue!
And some still can't understand something so true!

Syeda Hyder, 19

How come...

How come there is the loss of innocence when out of school
Things seem so wrong, and I do have a clue!
What was fun then is not fun now.

Have we really grown up or we pretend to be
Fun was a whole different book with a whole different story

The time when a free class was a blessing
Now seems to be of relief of no reason.
Clubbing and pubbing is the new trend
When once it was just the ankle socks and a tiny rule bend.

The laugh that was innocent is now more flirtatious
The aim of life has somehow changed
Have we really grown that older or just being someone else?
How come the pretty dress is now aimed for seducing?
Are we who we are now or who we were then?
One of them is not the true self I comprehend
Is the freedom getting to us at some point?
Have we lost our way from what’s right?

I fail to understand this change
Maybe I’m not so flexible in that sense
But what I see and what I feel are true feelings
What I know of then and what I know of now is what I’m writing.

The difference I see is not negligible
The feeling I feel is not absorbable
The freedom in life is now amazing
The will to achieve goals is not sleeping
“Positively“ things are moving faster than they should
Yet somehow we’d all go back to school if we could!

Syeda Hyder, 19

Blurry

Why is it that people lose a part of themselves when they get busy with anything?
When does something that was so clear become blurry and grey?
How does it become difficult to live on your principles?
How does so much change take place?

Sad it is when with realization you commit the same mistakes
Sad it is when the realization of that too doesn't help!
Loneliness and peace of mind get you back to the ground,
But tomorrow morning you'll be oblivious to whats around.

Keeping busy, keeping productive we live our lives
But then we forget our roots and become very unkind.
We become slaves of books written by Human beings
Their ideologies instead of the religions.

Sad becomes our life and it'll soon also be late
Till we realize what we've lost in this worlds race.
The guilt that we live with, the guilt that we hide
Need not suffocate us till we die.

With peace of mind and peace of our souls
We can make everything right with self-control.
What we need is constant reminders
We can change our lives and chase our fears.

Blurriness is the fault of the eye,
We should quit blaming others and take a stride.
Keep a clear vision of whats right
Of whats the truth and where we lie.

Syeda Hyder, 19